So it's been about a month and I've started the whole court reporting school and it is SO freaking hard. I was expecting for it to be challenging, learning a new language, a new instrument, and how to work the instrument. I compare it to having to learn music theory on a foreign instrument, and then having to play an entire song by the end of the week. They cram so much material into a day and expect you to memorize all of it. But, I like it. I'm up for the challenge and I get competitive with myself. It's kind of pulled me out of the slump I was in for, oh, about 2 years. Two years of not finding a job, realizing I was virtually disabled, dealing with pain, not meeting anyone, staying holed up in a house, having friends and family being at minimum, an hour away. So it's been refreshing to get back out there and have purpose again. And feel like somewhat of a useful human being. Actually, I missed the last couple days of classes because I overdid it on my feet over the weekend and had to deal with the repercussions of that. I've still been practicing at home and trying to follow along in the book, so I hope that will help me.
Our teacher is this bitter old bag who is incredibly intimidating. During my first interaction with her she demanded that I call her "Mrs." instead of going by her first name. But whatever. She also thinks I'm a slacker because I always show up late -- it's really hard getting out of bed esp when I'm hurting all over -- and probably thinks I'm not a serious student, when I truly am. Also, I was the first student who needed to trade in my rental manual machine because a key on it cracked in half (what should I have expected? These are ancient steno machines that we're all mandated to use because she doesn't understand the new technology). No one dares to ask her anything, except me, even though we're all lost. I was intimidated at first, but now I just don't care. I'm paying the tuition to learn and genuinely trying my hardest so she can make her snap judgments if she wants. We're all, as a class, overwhelmed, feeling behind and confused and apparently that's normal for your first semester in theory. No wonder so many people drop out of school. The first couple of semesters are like boot camp so they try to test you to see how dedicated you are, and they sure do go all out! I'm going to try very hard to wake up at 5:45am tomorrow (so I can leave at 6:30am and get there in 45 min) to do some much-needed extra credit. I feel guilty for missing class due to pain, and when I tried explaining my situation to the teacher via email she replied that there are no excused absences. Wow, zero compassion or empathy there. I'm not used to such strict policies at the school either -- no drinking anything but bottled, capped water in class (even though our teacher gets to have her Styrofoam cup of coffee -- no lid. We cannot chew gum or eat in class or we'll be asked to leave and be counted as an absence. If your phone goes off, even on vibrate, it will be confiscated and you'll be sent to the dean. What is this? I thought I was in college. I guess JC's are an extension of high school though. I'm surprised they don't have a dress code. Ridiculous! But, I'm hanging in there and taking this shit since it's a solid program with a 100% pass rate on the state CSR licensing exam. It's just so much practice, memorization, and more practice. On the bright side, it's so difficult that it just can't be boring, but it's really taking a toll on my stress/pain, which already go hand in hand. We have a test this Monday that I'm going to need to cram for this weekend. Argh... I just need to think about all the money I'll be making when I get out in 2-3 years and meditate on that for a while.
So anyway, that's my life right now, consumed by CR school and practicing/studying. Dennis and I are also on a super tight budget so we can't go out as much as we'd like and I'm going a little stir crazy. My closest friends and relatives live about an hour away and it's hard to get together. I guess that helps me to focus on school if anything. But, on days like these when it's hard to even get out of bed, the last thing I want to do is practice, so I didn't. The day before I was glued to my machine for 2 hour-long sessions and came out of it feeling worse and even more stressed. The reporters I know through social support group sites and also my personal mentor tell me that the key is to write for a focused 30 min to an hour, then get up, stretch, do something else and come back to it later. It's the coming back to it later that I need to work on. :)
Tomorrow another day! Will I go to the extra credit class, or will I stay home to sleep. I'm betting on the latter, but hoping that I'll go. It remains to be seen...
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